This made it across my facebook-feed this morning, and the subsequent frustration with the post was enough to wake me up entirely.
Never mind the constant tendency for gender feminists to attack men whether said men are for or against actual feminism (equity feminism). Never mind how gender feminists always add to the already vast gulf between “men” and “women”, trying to widen it and generate these two “factions” with their every contribution to the gender-discourse.
What made me truly angry was the unintentional irony of the piece. There was, for instance, the delightful paradox of the following:
7. Beware Male Feminists Who Resort to Toxic Communication Patterns Because It Benefits Them
Beware men who place a premium on sharing your feelings and thoughts – because that’s “communication” – but don’t share any of theirs.
Beware men who dump their emotions on you and pretend that their “vulnerability” (in asking you to bear their burden) is a feminist act.
Basically, beware men who try to be sympathetic and unselfish by listening to your feelings and thoughts, but if they DO share their feelings and thoughts, then that’s “dumping their emotions on you”. This is a classic example of
1. Beware Female Feminists who turn any male action into a negative action
Beware female feminists who interpret ANYTHING a man does as negative.
Are you complimenting her looks? You are trying to control her. In fact, you are trying to undermine her self-confidence, and indicating that she should care about your opinion of how she looks.
Are you not complimenting her looks? You are trying to control her. In fact, you are trying to undermine her self-confidence, and indicating that she should care about your opinion of how she looks.
2. Beware Female Feminists who disregard men’s emotions
Beware female feminists who feel that, while men should take women’s emotions and feelings very seriously – and somehow manage to not ask them about them and ask them about them at the same time, apparently – men’s emotions are irrelevant. They will quickly lodge an insult against a man/men in general as a “harmless joke”, and when pulled up on this, resort to “male privilege” or “years of oppression” as a reason why it is all right for a woman to be verbally/mentally abusive toward a man, but not the other way around. This type of feminist will generally hold all men responsible for the actions of any other man, or their ancestors. If all else fails, this feminist will excuse her insults and aggressions with how much worse women have it, as if that somehow makes anything happening to men less bad. So you lost your leg? Well that woman over there is dying of cancer. Stop whining.
3. Beware Female Feminists who express opinions about other women’s clothes/appearance
Beware female feminists who express ANY opinion about the way other women look. This wonderful cartoon sums it up. This also applies to female feminists who comment, positively or negatively, on other women’s makeup choices, whether they choose to wear heels or not, how they wear their hair etc. If men do not get to comment on women’s appearance without it being oppression, women do not get to comment on women’s appearance without it being oppression.
(OR men’s appearance, for that matter. Can you imagine men commenting on a gender-swapped version of the facebook-post below along the lines of: “Women with glitter-roots: yes or no?” Yeah, talk about oppression. But not when women do it to men.)
4. Beware Female Feminists who try to control you sexually
Beware female feminists who feel that a relationship is all about the man pleasing the woman sexually, them only having sex when the woman wants it, and that the man more or less has to get a consent-form signed from the woman to ensure that he hasn’t misinterpreted her interest, while a woman having sex with a man in his sleep is funny, or a woman stopping a burglar and then raping him is hilarious.
These female feminists always consider pornography to be oppressive/derogatory toward women, but in their world only men watch pornography/pornography is only made for men, so if you enjoy watching pornography you are a) a man, and b) contributing to female oppression. If you are, against all odds, a WOMAN watching pornography, that’s because you are liberating yourself and anyway, men have done it for thousands of years, so that excuses everything. Good for you, girl.
Oh, and did I mention that though the sex is all about the woman/when the woman wants it, the man should somehow know what/when this is? And whilst it is perfectly fine for a woman not to want to have sex, if a man doesn’t want to have sex, it is an insult to the woman’s physique, and another attempt to undermine her self-confidence.
5. Beware Female Feminists who try to dictate what you should do with your life
Beware female feminists who indicate that it’s not all right to be a stay-at-home mum, as in their world, all women should want a career. Beware female feminists who at the same time expect you to be a stay-at-home mum, as sending your children to day-care “too soon” or getting a nanny will apparently destroy your children’s lives forever. Often, these same female feminists will fight for the right to breast-feed in public, and confuse it with some unspoken obligation to breast-feed, making women who choose to formula-feed, or NOT to breast-feed in public, feel like bad mothers. Beware female feminists who fight for girls and women to get better education, but do not care about boys suffering in education. Beware female feminists who consider girls wearing blue, playing with cars, or wanting to become scientists as something positive, but pink, dolls, and ballet as something negative, and who do not care what boys wear/play with/want to become.
6. Beware Female Feminists who make fun of men’s intelligence/appearance
Beware female feminists who happily make fun of their male friends’, relatives’, or other halves’ appearance or intelligence, but would consider the same comment made by a man to a woman as incredibly sexist and oppressive. Beware female feminists who laughingly insult the men around them, but consider any comment made by a man regarding a woman’s intelligence or appearance to be an insult, no matter how it is worded or meant.
7. Beware Female Feminists who say every societal problem is caused by “the patriarchy” or men in general
Beware female feminists who blame any evil in the world on men, even those that affect men negatively. If women have eating disorders, that’s because men have made them feel obsessed with their looks. If male suicide is way higher than female suicide, that’s because the patriarchy make men feel inadequate as men. If there aren’t as many female leaders/directors in the world as male, it’s because the patriarchy stops women from getting these positions. If men fail at work or in school, it’s because other men are creating a competitive environment and not being supportive.
8. Beware Female Feminists who work with/endorse what they claim to hate
Beware female feminists who work within pornography, stripping, modelling, fashion, makeup, or other sectors which are generally perceived to embody the male oppression/objectification of the female body. These female feminists will often portray their own part in these trades as “liberating, taking back our space, changing the system from the inside” etc., while men who work in these industries are always attempting to oppress or objectify women. While the big evil corporations, always owned by the patriarchy, attempt to make girls feel bad about themselves through unrealistically thin models, that same female model on the billboard can be a powerful icon and role-model for those girls. It’s never women’s fault for perpetuating these stereotypes, as women are actually being controlled by “society and advertising”.
9. Beware Female Feminists who always defend women, and criticise men
Beware female feminists who will immediately jump to a lengthy defense of other women’s opinions, even if those are violent and negative toward men, but would find the same opinions expressed by a man internet abuse. Tasteless jokes which would never have been acceptable from a man are perfectly fine if they’re about men, from a woman. If a woman dumps a man, it’s because he’s an a**hole. If a man dumps a woman, it’s because he’s an a**hole. If a woman has a full-time job and sees her children a few hours a week, she’s strong, and going against “societal norms”, which is a good thing. If a man does it, he’s a selfish pig, forcing his poor wife to stay at home, and distancing himself from his children, who will “grow up without a father”. If a man calls himself a feminist, he probably has ulterior motives, and still just wants to oppress women, same as other men. If a woman does, it’s because she’s a good person who believes in fighting for women’s rights.
10. Beware Female Feminists who turn rational discussions into personal attacks
Beware female feminists who will turn healthy debates where you disagree with their views into personal attacks, where you are called out for oppressing them, silencing them, misrepresenting feminism, verbally raping them, or any number of terms that can be used to shut down an argument. These same female feminists will often start attacking you personally, saying your opinions are invalid because you are a man/white/cis, and things along the lines of how this is “typical” for men, how men “feel threatened” by empowered women, how the phrase “not all men” is somehow offensive rather than true, and in the end, anything you say that is not in complete agreement with these female feminists views will be portrayed as you supporting rape or female oppression etc.
To sum it up: beware female feminists who constantly uphold double standards for men and women; who believe that the evils of the world are all because of men and none because of women; who attempt to control the men and women around them but claim that men are constantly trying to control women; and who write long posts like “Beware These 10 Types of Feminist Men”.