Of Love

I’m sorry I haven’t written in what seems like forever to me. It’s just that I have been sick, on so many levels, with a cold and just feeling like a really bad person, so that has sort of stopped me from writing anything. I’m getting over the cold and have come to accept the fact that I also do horrible things and I’m just going to have to live with that. Also, sorry for being so damn depressing. I hope it’s ok. Now I know lots of people will have lots to say about the subject in this post. And you might very well not agree with me. Or maybe feel the urge to share a story of your own. Whichever it might be, please do comment. Because we can’t escape the impact of this emotion on our lives. This post is about Love

Unrequited Love.

This one isn’t as bad as it may seem. Because despite the private heartbreak and that flutter of butterfly wings every time you see the person, you also get to imagine all the awesome things. You don’t know if you’ll never work out because you never try. You can idolize and make this person bigger than life itself and it doesn’t cost you anything. The only heartbreak you get is if they get with someone else, which is not half as bad as if you had started dating them. And you can always pretend that you are getting hints from the person that they like you to. A smile, a wave, oh my you actually like the same things how weird is that? But in the end, unrequited love is not love. Love has to be mutual. It has to be.

Falling in Love.

In my own experience, this is usually the best part of a relationship. You discover all these wonderful things about each other, you try new things, learn new things, start to trust and understand someone on a whole new level. Just being able to look into that persons eyes and see unprotected, naked love shining right back at you as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. The highs are always very high and the lows are next to non-existent. This is of course the most vulnerable part of love, because it’s scary to give that much of yourself to another human. It’s scary to share things and hope that the other doesn’t judge you or use you. But freely given and freely received, falling in love is such a beautiful experience.

Being in Love.

Being in a relationship can be rather nerve-wrecking at first. There are all these new rules and boundaries, you have no idea what might upset or disgust your partner. You have no idea if you should even REFER to them as a partner yet! But still, after all the tip-toeing and confusion, this is to me the part that love is all about. Sharing your life with another person and not going nuts because they are there more often than not is a great achievement in someone’s life. Just the joy when you wake up next to that person or curl into their arms at night, when they’re sitting across from you at the breakfast table or your eyes lock across a crowded room, when they send a cute text on your lunch-break or leaves you a note when they’re home… it’s a bond that can’t be replicated. Each relationship is so unique, based on all the intricacies of these two people, and the greater web it becomes when they decided to share their lives. 

Break-up; the Let Down.

I hate this part. I don’t really know what to say. No matter what you do, everyone gets hurt, there are no good answers, not enough ways to say you are sorry. There is no way to make it through pain-free. If you somehow come out the other side perfectly prepared to stay friends and with no hard feelings or regrets, you are lucky. And despite what you may both say, in 99% of the cases, you will always have scraps of feelings left for that person. They will sneak themselves upon you like tigers in the jungle and pounce when you have your guard down. Now the tiger you might be able to kick in the nuts. But how do you protect yourself from feelings? The bitter-sweet memories clouding your judgement? The dawning sensation that this most likely will never ever happen again and you made the biggest mistake? If you make it through a break-up and come out clean and contented on the other side, I salute you.

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2 thoughts on “Of Love

  1. OK… I guess I’ll start the ball rolling here.
    On the subject of un-requited love: My own personal experience has been different than that of most others, I guess. One experience in particular, I still consider to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I have had feelings for several women that did not feel the same way about me. Most of the time, the feeling dies away quite quickly. However, I very nearly got together with a girl many, many years ago, before moving away. It’s a complicated story and I’ll spare you the details, but this girl haunted my dreams for years afterward. Years later, social networking allowed us to get back in contact, and after a couple of years talking over the internet I told her how I felt. She was very understanding and I started feeling differently about her after that day.
    Nowadays, we are still in contact, she is one of my best friends, and although I still can’t talk to her without smiling to myself, I’m actually sort of glad we never got together, and I REALLY AM very, very happy to see her happy. She is married to a nice bloke, and we talk all the time.
    I still consider this girl “the love of my life”. I know you may not agree, but she is! At least so far. It’s one of the parts of my life I’m most proud of, and I can’t think about it without smiling (I’m doing it now, as I type).
    Un-requited love. Un-fulfilled love… They don’t have to be bad things. They will only destroy your life if you let them.
    Shit! I should’ve made this a blog post rather than a response. Would you object if I blogged about this at the weekend? I might not, but just in case…
    P.S. The “kick the tiger in the nuts” bit made me laugh.

  2. Ha ha, I would love for you to write a post about it! When people share personal stories of themselves like that it’s the most fascinating thing ever for me. I can’t help it, I’m a hopeful romantic 🙂 I’m gonna go read your braindamage post now.

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