Headache and Euphoria

I’m currently sitting here, looking for words that won’t come to me. Oh make no mistake, they are in my head, but they just keep swirling around and become impossible to grip from the sheer force of gravitational pull in the centrifuge that my grey matter has turned into. My life has been a mess of busy, busy, busy, tired, in love, busy, in love, tired, busy, busy, tired, in love, busy… for the past two months or so. I’ve been catching up with my high school grades so I could get into university (it’s a complicated story of how I have grades but they’re not from the country where I want to go to school now, so processing and translation slowed everything down and I had to read up while waiting for a result), so 3 courses in the space of 9 weeks kept me rather busy. Yet there was still time to spend with the man in my life. Did you notice how when you love people a lot making time for them isn’t that difficult? So time there was. And all that time has been an adventure. When even having a conversation with someone feels like you’re riding a roller-coaster life just becomes kind of amazing. To top it off, a close relative of mine had a new and very tiny arrival just today, and this has finally pressed me to return to the blogging world. Because when someone shares such a joy with you, and you feel their joy, you just want to spread that joy throughout the world, and make everyone see the little miracle that has come to live with us. I can’t tell you the elation and happiness I feel right this moment, at the existence of a brand-new little life that will forever be part of mine. So after jumping around for a few hours and screaming with glee, and after many phone-conversations and text-messages with relatives and my love, I’m here, writing as I’m listening to a little playlist I named “joy” on Spotify. If you feel like listening to it and seeing if it makes you feel the joy I’m feeling, here are the songs and artists.

You Are The Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne

New Shoes – Paolo Nutini

Don’t You Evah – Spoon

Fidelity – Regina Spektor (playing in my ears right this moment)

I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

A New Day Has Come – Céline Dion

Do You Remember – Jack Johnson

Love You Madly – Cake

How Sweet It Is – Marvin Gaye

I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl – Nina Simone

New York, New York – Frank Sinatra

On The Sunny Side Of The Street – Billie Holiday

Yes, it is a weird mix, but so am I. You find me sitting here through heavy eyelids, headache, euphoria and this deep, all encompassing joy. I hope you will find me here a lot more often during the next few months, but don’t count on it, because I’m doing a summer-course at university. I just wanted to say hi to you all. Hi.


4 thoughts on “Headache and Euphoria

  1. You are such a wonderful person. And I can’t wait to see the little one… and, of course, you, my love.

    We all understand busyness. God knows, I’ve been absent from my blog for quite some time… A fact of which Kitty was keen to remind me this evening.

    Pass my congratulations along, as I’m sure you will.

    I am counting the hours until I can see you again. But, of course… you know that! 😉

  2. What a joy to see another soul brought into this world. This place isn’t so bad, and this could be the most amazing time out of any to be born. Congratulations to all those involved!

    I’ve been thinking about your previous post a lot (on happiness) and last night/today it struck me so hard I nearly fell backwards and rolled on the floor in crazed understanding (I’m actually that dramatic). Perhaps it’s the knowledge and recognition of my own adulthood that blew me away, but I don’t think that’s entirely it; waiting on the world is a helpless thing to do and happiness is now. Right now. No waiting, no requirements, nothing but this moment, you, and the universe. Well, I could go on for pages trying to explain this idea totally coherently, but you probably get the picture.

    On another note, I will check out that playlist. I immediately picked out Ray LaMontagne because he used to work in my home town in the same mill as several of my family members and, even more coincidentally, moved a few miles away from my college (i.e. where I’m sitting right now). A small world this is.

    1. It’s always wonderful when you’re struck by one of those profound moments of understanding that makes you shake your head at your previous self, wondering how this thing never occurred to you before.

      And… I LOVE Ray LaMontagne’s music! That is so amazing, this world is truly the tiniest of worlds 🙂 Wow.

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